I once again copied this from my sister, cute picture of my parents.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Angela's post about Logan
I have a few stories I've been wanting to write about, you know, for posterity...or whatever. Here's one. The timing of this one is about right since it happened almost 7 years ago to the day. This one is a hard one for me. Possibly one of the hardest things I have had to go through in my 30+ years. Let me go get some kleenex.
My younger sister Abby, was pregnant and unmarried. She decided to give the baby boy up for adoption through LDS services. She has a really cool story of her own of how she knew this couple she chose for her unborn child was the right family for him. And she was even more sure of that decision when she met them for the first time. But this is my story.
We knew she had made the right decision to give up her baby but I really don't know how women/girls do it. It was hard for me to imagine since I was already married at the time so it wouldn't even be an option for me. How can you just give this child to someone else knowing you'll probably never see them again or have much of a relationship with them.
The day she gave birth to him, our older sister Amysue, was on a plane to SLC, where she picked me up and the two of us drove to St. George where she had had the baby. He was darling. Our family genes that we all share were there. We didn't know what the adoptive parents were going to name him so it was weird not having a name for him. I nicknamed him Harry because he was so hairy. Another gene we all got from our dad. Thanks dad. When they were both released from the hospital, we all went to stay at my parent's house. We had a night (or two?) with him before his parents were to come for the "placement". Abby had pictures taken with him. We held him and loved him.
Before the actual placement took place Abby went to the social service office to sign her rights away. Amysue and I dropped her off. She wanted to go in alone. We sat in the car and cried, wipping our tears on the only thing we could find. A pair of little socks Amysue had bought for him that had been left in the car. We wanted to do something nice for Abby so we went to the store and bought her roses. When we went back to pick her up we went inside and gave her the roses. We got to meet her counselor. She was wonderful. She told us she'd never seen a family so supportive as ours. That made me feel good.
The night of the placement most of our family was gathered beforehand at my parents. Everyone was there but Alex's family and Anne, who had passed away almost a year before. We had a family prayer together and cried and cried and cried. We were late getting there. I'm sure the couple was worried we'd not show up.
The couple who is adopting is instructed not to even touch the baby until they are "placed" in their arms by the birth mother. Just like everything in our church, there is an order to things. We met them. Visited with them. And then we let them open presents we had bought for him. Clothes, toys, and a blanket made by our sister in law who always makes the nieces and nephews a blanket because we are a blanket family. They let Abby leave the room alone with the baby so she could say goodbye. Then she brought him back and all of us in the family got to hold him one last time. Then she said one final goodbye to him and then placed him in his mother's arms. Time stood still for a moment as I took everything in.
Until that point I was a wreck. I couldn't stop crying. But when he was placed in their arms a peace came and I knew he wasn't ours. He was theirs. And the crying stopped for a time. Also when he was placed in her arms we could physically see her emotions. Until then she had been strong. Not showing any emotion. Her husband was the one who had been emotional before. But she couldn't physically hold him since she was shaking so hard. She finally said to her husband, "Take him. I'm going to drop him." He tenderly took him and looked at his face. Then she calmed down enough to take him back. It was beautiful to see this couple, who had wanted a child so badly, finally get their wish. An answer to their prayers.
Logan will be 7 years old tomorrow. His mother was able to have another son a couple years ago via invitro so he now has a little brother. What a lucky boy he is.
The point of this story is, I never hear the stories from the families of the birth parents. Just as the birth parents love the child they give up, so do their families. He will always hold a special place in my heart even though he isn't part of our family. I was so glad to have those few days with him when he was a newborn. But also, it was amazing to witness that spiritual event of that baby being given to his new family. I literally could feel that he no longer was part of our family anymore as soon as they touched him. Thankfully there was peace with that feeling instead of feeling like my heart was being ripped out. After that it was still hard. And it still is hard to think about but I know he was meant to be with them.
My younger sister Abby, was pregnant and unmarried. She decided to give the baby boy up for adoption through LDS services. She has a really cool story of her own of how she knew this couple she chose for her unborn child was the right family for him. And she was even more sure of that decision when she met them for the first time. But this is my story.
We knew she had made the right decision to give up her baby but I really don't know how women/girls do it. It was hard for me to imagine since I was already married at the time so it wouldn't even be an option for me. How can you just give this child to someone else knowing you'll probably never see them again or have much of a relationship with them.
The day she gave birth to him, our older sister Amysue, was on a plane to SLC, where she picked me up and the two of us drove to St. George where she had had the baby. He was darling. Our family genes that we all share were there. We didn't know what the adoptive parents were going to name him so it was weird not having a name for him. I nicknamed him Harry because he was so hairy. Another gene we all got from our dad. Thanks dad. When they were both released from the hospital, we all went to stay at my parent's house. We had a night (or two?) with him before his parents were to come for the "placement". Abby had pictures taken with him. We held him and loved him.
Before the actual placement took place Abby went to the social service office to sign her rights away. Amysue and I dropped her off. She wanted to go in alone. We sat in the car and cried, wipping our tears on the only thing we could find. A pair of little socks Amysue had bought for him that had been left in the car. We wanted to do something nice for Abby so we went to the store and bought her roses. When we went back to pick her up we went inside and gave her the roses. We got to meet her counselor. She was wonderful. She told us she'd never seen a family so supportive as ours. That made me feel good.
The night of the placement most of our family was gathered beforehand at my parents. Everyone was there but Alex's family and Anne, who had passed away almost a year before. We had a family prayer together and cried and cried and cried. We were late getting there. I'm sure the couple was worried we'd not show up.
The couple who is adopting is instructed not to even touch the baby until they are "placed" in their arms by the birth mother. Just like everything in our church, there is an order to things. We met them. Visited with them. And then we let them open presents we had bought for him. Clothes, toys, and a blanket made by our sister in law who always makes the nieces and nephews a blanket because we are a blanket family. They let Abby leave the room alone with the baby so she could say goodbye. Then she brought him back and all of us in the family got to hold him one last time. Then she said one final goodbye to him and then placed him in his mother's arms. Time stood still for a moment as I took everything in.
Until that point I was a wreck. I couldn't stop crying. But when he was placed in their arms a peace came and I knew he wasn't ours. He was theirs. And the crying stopped for a time. Also when he was placed in her arms we could physically see her emotions. Until then she had been strong. Not showing any emotion. Her husband was the one who had been emotional before. But she couldn't physically hold him since she was shaking so hard. She finally said to her husband, "Take him. I'm going to drop him." He tenderly took him and looked at his face. Then she calmed down enough to take him back. It was beautiful to see this couple, who had wanted a child so badly, finally get their wish. An answer to their prayers.
Logan will be 7 years old tomorrow. His mother was able to have another son a couple years ago via invitro so he now has a little brother. What a lucky boy he is.
The point of this story is, I never hear the stories from the families of the birth parents. Just as the birth parents love the child they give up, so do their families. He will always hold a special place in my heart even though he isn't part of our family. I was so glad to have those few days with him when he was a newborn. But also, it was amazing to witness that spiritual event of that baby being given to his new family. I literally could feel that he no longer was part of our family anymore as soon as they touched him. Thankfully there was peace with that feeling instead of feeling like my heart was being ripped out. After that it was still hard. And it still is hard to think about but I know he was meant to be with them.
About time for another post
Ok..I know it has been like forever, but we have been super busy and whatever so I am just going to start over and not repeat any of the past. Too much stuff happened so lets move forward.
School is in session, it is always a bittersweet for me cause I miss my kids so much, but also it gives me and them a chance to be away from each other. Lauren is a sophomore, Austen 8th grade, peyten 6th grade, and Ashlen is in preschool. Lauren is playing volleyball for the school again, she made the JV team, but after a few weeks the coach moved her up to Varsity. Basically she is kicking butt and has the awesome athletic genes that run so freely in my side of the family...hehe. Peyten and Austen are both playing football, Peyten broke his arm the second week of practice and was out a few of the games. He played with a cast on, we don't let a broken arm interfere with our playing time. Once Fall sports are all over with them all of the kids will start golf up again. They all had a great golf season this past summer, Austen especially did, i think he golfed in about 30 or so tournaments.
I am taking a tennis class at the college...so far I really love it. Not so great at it right now, but still am having fun. Most of the people in my class are 20 something college students just taking a PE credit so they pretty much suck more than I do. Eric, my partner last week, told me his mom said he had to get a job and stop playing Xbox all the time. I think he wanted my support cause we were partners and all but I told him it was time to grow up!!!
I am still fostering puppies, I have two litters right now. They are pretty much adorable, Ashlen wants to hold them all day long. The older ones right now are 4 weeks old and look like teddy bears, they are so cute. I will have to take some pics.
Brent just turned 42 a few weeks ago, so sad for me. I can't be married to someone that old? Where has the time gone? I guess to finish my post I will say a few words regarding Brent getting old:
He has grey hair and much more hair other places than before I married him...yuck!!!
He is a bit wrinkly under his eyes, this is due to the fact that he doesn't wear sunscreen on his face when he golfs. Soon he is going to be walking around looking like he has a Trophy wife.
He randomly falls asleep while not in bed; church, car, couch, work, jogging, eating, golfing
He is starting to make stuff up and repeat the same stories over and over..."When I was your age..."
When he walks his body makes creaking and cracking sounds.
He is still better looking and skinnier than me, that will never change.
I love you my cutie dude!!!!
School is in session, it is always a bittersweet for me cause I miss my kids so much, but also it gives me and them a chance to be away from each other. Lauren is a sophomore, Austen 8th grade, peyten 6th grade, and Ashlen is in preschool. Lauren is playing volleyball for the school again, she made the JV team, but after a few weeks the coach moved her up to Varsity. Basically she is kicking butt and has the awesome athletic genes that run so freely in my side of the family...hehe. Peyten and Austen are both playing football, Peyten broke his arm the second week of practice and was out a few of the games. He played with a cast on, we don't let a broken arm interfere with our playing time. Once Fall sports are all over with them all of the kids will start golf up again. They all had a great golf season this past summer, Austen especially did, i think he golfed in about 30 or so tournaments.
I am taking a tennis class at the college...so far I really love it. Not so great at it right now, but still am having fun. Most of the people in my class are 20 something college students just taking a PE credit so they pretty much suck more than I do. Eric, my partner last week, told me his mom said he had to get a job and stop playing Xbox all the time. I think he wanted my support cause we were partners and all but I told him it was time to grow up!!!
I am still fostering puppies, I have two litters right now. They are pretty much adorable, Ashlen wants to hold them all day long. The older ones right now are 4 weeks old and look like teddy bears, they are so cute. I will have to take some pics.
Brent just turned 42 a few weeks ago, so sad for me. I can't be married to someone that old? Where has the time gone? I guess to finish my post I will say a few words regarding Brent getting old:
He has grey hair and much more hair other places than before I married him...yuck!!!
He is a bit wrinkly under his eyes, this is due to the fact that he doesn't wear sunscreen on his face when he golfs. Soon he is going to be walking around looking like he has a Trophy wife.
He randomly falls asleep while not in bed; church, car, couch, work, jogging, eating, golfing
He is starting to make stuff up and repeat the same stories over and over..."When I was your age..."
When he walks his body makes creaking and cracking sounds.
He is still better looking and skinnier than me, that will never change.
I love you my cutie dude!!!!
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